Last night  I couldn’t sleep.  The following post on FB ended up being the 3:30 a.m. result.  At 3:30 in the morning?  I felt I likely just “rambled” and was just trying to be obedient to that still, small voice that seemed very loud at 3am.  Surprisingly enough I had a large response of people reaching out telling me they were glad I was obedient.  It was a source of inspiration for many and varied reasons.  It prompted off-line chats where we lifted one another up.  I felt lead to share on my blog as well as someone out there may need this reminder…

This post is for my single ladies. Someone out there feeling lonely needs to read this tonight. It’s 3:33 – I want to be sleeping. I need sleep. And yet? I’m wide awake and know it’s the Lord who woke me up around 3.  After laying in bed and arguing with him for 20 minutes “God what are you wanting me to do? Who are you wanting me to reach out to or pray for? You and I both know that I have a prayer list a mile long. People are hurting. WHAT do you want from me?” He reminded me of the way I felt tonight, the vivid dream I had that woke me up at 1:00 a.m. One where he downloaded it’s meaning almost instantly and then I fell back to sleep. He said “Get up and share that dream!” What?!? Now? “Yes Kris, if not, you’ll get busy tomorrow and you’ll forget. And besides? Someone needs to hear it right now. Someone else is up at 3:00am and can’t sleep…” Sigh. Did Pastor Lawrence and Pastor Darlene really have to speak about obedience today? Yep. Sure did. So maybe this is for someone – or maybe God’s just seeing how obedient I really am.  But here it goes…

I went to church tonight and I sat in the back initially. Why? Honestly? I’m exhausted. My cup is empty. This social butterfly? Didn’t feel like being social tonight. I’ve been so busy pouring out, I wanted to just sit and be poured into. I didn’t feel I had the effort or strength to pour out. I almost didn’t go to church this morning, used the excuse I could watch on line at home and it would be the same. Glad I didn’t fall for that. I went and the presence was so thick and I could feel my soul being fed. All the cares that were weighing me down when I went in? Were gone by the time I left. Nothing else mattered but me and the Lord this morning. He was letting me know he had not left me, I had just gotten too busy. Too much good? Is still too much. So as tired as I was, and the list of things I needed to do a mile long, I went to the North church tonight. My flesh was screaming “No!!! Can’t we just stay home and watch on line? And my spirit was saying “But I told you to go.” So I went. At the end of service I saw a girl crying in pain at the altar call and luckily some strong prayer warriors went to her side because I stood there, helpless, empty, with nothing to offer. I hated that feeling and vowed I would slow down. I would fill back up so I was always ready to pour out. I felt like I was watching someone die and had forgot CPR.

On the drive there I was asking God about this dream he placed in my heart. One that I know that I know that I know he wants me to pursue. How are you possibly going to do this Lord? And I heard my Pastor’s voice in my ear… He’ll do it in a way you’d never expect. So I said “Here I am! I’ll dream, I’ll follow, but YOU have to make this happen!” If you haven’t brought me the one yet because I need to do this first? Then let’s get this show on the road! You know I’ve been feeling a bit lonely…

Yep. That’s it single ladies… I’m tired. And when I get tired? The loneliness can creep in. The holiday’s? Don’t help. I’m not going to lie. 99.5% of the time? I’m perfectly content and at peace. But there are moments, when I see the pop ups for the Christmas celebrations and festivals that I think “I wish I had someone special to share that with…” And I get a bit lonely. And in those moments? It would be so easy to settle. To just agree to a date just to not go alone. But we all know that sometimes? Being with the wrong one can be a worse type of lonely than actually being alone. The Lord spoke very clearly to me a few years ago “You go do what I’ve called you to do. And then, I’ll bring you the one.” So I keep telling myself I must not be done doing what he’s called me to do.  Because let’s face it, truth be told, if I had a partner right now instead of dreaming of how I’m going to see this dream in my heart to fruition? I’d be worried about what I was going to make for dinner, and how I could make my husband smile that day. So… husband later, dream to fruition first.

But as I laid down tonight, I was thinking about the man God might bring me someday. Who’s it going to be? How’s it ever going to happen? I’m not getting any younger… and then I fell asleep and had this dream.  I was thirsty in my dream and looking for a drink and as I walked out of my room I walked into a room at the church with three sinks. The first two sinks were just the basins. You could pour water into them, but not get anything out. The third sink, which I chose, had water coming out in a small stream. I had no glass so I held my hands under the faucet and got a drink from my hands. As I was getting a drink I looked over to my right and there was a man I’d never seen before. Salt and Pepper hair (We know I love salt and pepper hair ladies) and he was drinking from a water fountain! And then, walked out. I watched him leave and then followed the way he left to try to catch a glimpse of him. He was standing with some church friends discussing a project they were working on. And I woke up. And when I did? The Lord downloaded the meaning instantly. There will be men, even in the church, who appear to be what you want, and they will let you pour into them, but will not pour back into you. (The sinks with no faucets) – There will even be men who can pour into you, but it won’t be easy. You’ll have to hold your hands together and struggle to even get the drink. (The sink with the faucet and no cup). But there’s a man in your future, who knows where the source of water is and drinks from that fountain readily and easily. As you pursue this dream I’ve placed in your heart? As you pursue me? You’ll meet him, because he’ll be pursuing me just as fiercely too. And? We both know that I create divine appointments. Be patient Kris. Just seek me. Just seek the living water – drink easily from the fountain – don’t struggle. And then? As Pastor said tonight “Seek me FIRST with all your heart and then? I’ll give you the desires of yours, because they become the same as mine.”

So single ladies – this is just a reminder. Don’t settle. Settle will equal struggle. Just keep seeking the Lord with your whole heart and one day? You’ll look over and find that special someone seeking him in the same way. Be encouraged! Keep pressing in. Keep fighting the good fight!

Much Love and Blessed Holidays!

Kris