The Monday evening bible study had just concluded as I made my rounds to speak with the ladies who were lingering for a bit of fellowship. As I approached the pew where 3 of our beautiful single ladies were still standing they shared with me how much they enjoyed the evening’s study on praying and journaling the Word.
One of the young ladies smiled as she dug into her oversized purse and pushed aside her bible that was full of tabs and highlights and notes. As she pushed it aside I could see another bible in her purse. This is the bible she was reaching for. As she pulled out the beautiful white bible she said “I have been journaling the word in my husbands bible for some time now.” When she uttered the word “husband” heads turned quickly with quizzical looks following as one of the girls said out loud…. “Husband?!?”
This sweet young girl opened up as she told us that she had recently moved to the area to leave a toxic relationship. God has allowed her to look back upon that time and understand what love wasn’t. Now He is gently and sweetly showing her what love is. Love is patient, kind, long-suffering…. it does not envy, does not boast… she was learning to see herself as God sees her… A daughter of the King and worthy of a man who will love her like Jesus loves her. She went on to explain how she has been blessed to witness what a Godly marriage looks like since moving here to be near her cousin. She has decided to stand firm in her Faith until God moves and brings her the one HE has for her.
In the meantime… and this is where I got all the warm fuzzies and goosebumps…. She purchased a beautiful white bible. She has written letters and prayers to her future husband. She has underlined and highlighted scripture in his bible and the promises that she’s standing on, as well as scripture she’s praying over her future husband. When she said with the biggest smile, and brightest blue eyes, “And on our wedding day, I will give this bible to him” – that’s when my heart and face both smiled! That’s when I got the goosebumps and warm fuzzies!
“Settling” and “Rushing into” are two of the biggest reasons marriages fail or women find themselves in toxic relationships. Why do people settle instead of holding out for God’s best? Impatience. Comparison. Fear. Low self esteem. Not sticking to your list and setting boundaries. The devil whispering his lies that this is the best you can do so suck it up and make it work. Social Media which feeds comparison and envy as singles watch other couples on vacations, beautiful weddings and holidays. Comparison robs the dream and replaces it with a counterfeit that looks good in the pictures we get so anxious to post.
Not sticking to your list – what list? I tell my single friends to make a list. Write down everything you want in a future husband in order of importance – those “deal breakers” or “must haves”. Almost 100% of the time my Christian friends start their list with “Spiritual Leader” as number one. It may then go on to say “Prays for me” and include “loves kids” – “family oriented” – “servants heart” – and not too far down the list are the physical attributes… tall, dark and handsome! 🙂
Why do I tell my single ladies to make a list? It keeps you focused and from making the mistake of putting tall, dark and handsome further up the list than spiritual leader and after 3 or 4 dates you find out that he doesn’t go to church, doesn’t pray, doesn’t not believe in God – but hasn’t opened his bible or bowed his head in prayer …. but he “gets you” and don’t forget… “he’s hot”! When you get the list out of order, you often get hurt instead of hope as you find that you are not on the same path.
Every day, every minute, every choice either brings you closer to God or pushes you further away. No relationship (with God or with humans) stands still. You have to ask yourself if the person who is showing interest is bringing you closer to God or pushing you away. And you have to pray. Pray and ask God for His guidance and wisdom.
Another reason I tell my single girls to make a list of what they want in a man is this… I tell them to ask themselves .. “Am I all those things?” Women often want a Spiritual leader – but haven’t picked their bible up or prayed in years. Women want someone who is loyal and trustworthy – as they lie about where they were last night.
Waiting on God’s best can be tough, but it is so worth it! Use it as time investing in your future marriage by becoming the best version of yourself that you can be as you start to see yourself as God sees you. You wait, wait, wait and then all of a sudden you’re in a tire shop buying a new set of tires and he’s there to buy new tires as well. Your life changes in an instant and you can look back and see God’s hand was all over that divine appointment!! 🙂
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that young girl and how she is fervently praying over her future husband that she’s not even met. This morning in my quiet time with God I opened my bible to Genesis, Chapter 24 and read the story of how Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac. This story is a beautiful example of how God went before him, and through prayer and aligned steps brought him to Rebekah, Isaacs future wife. If you are single, open your bible to Genesis Chapter 24 and read this story. You will be blessed and encouraged to hold out for God’s best! And remember – You Deserve It!